Q by a Sadhika: — who said in her letter that “her husband was trying to justify the lower sexual impulse by quoting Shastra and also by saying that Sadhana ought to be done through Bhoga — enjoyment. He also complained that Sri Aurobindo’s yoga was more rigorous than even the path of Sannyas — renunciation. He argued: “What is the use of a relation between man and woman if there is no sexual enjoyment?”
Tell her that the true relation between man and woman cannot be understood by them. They must advance a great deal before they can understand it. It is no use trying to understand it intellectually.
She must go on with her own Sadhana without caring to lift her husband. If he has something genuine in him he will come up. Everything depends upon him so far as he is concerned. He has something in him which is turned to yoga but his vital being requires great purification. He has been given quite elementary practice — abhyāsa. He is asked to watch his nature as the Purusha — the witness — and to reject the play of the lower nature. He can also seek help from above.
The element in his vital nature trying to justify the lower impulses by reasons and arguments is very dangerous.
– Sri Aurobindo