Q: To attain the right attitude, what principles should we follow in our dealing and behaviour with others?
It seems to me that one should go about it the other way round. If we have the right attitude other things come by themselves. But the right attitude is itself secondary. What is important is the inner state. Spiritual and ethical principles are quite different, for everything depends on whether it is done for the sake of the Spirit or for ethical reasons. One may observe mental control in his dealings, but his inner state may be quite different. For example, he may not show anger, but within he may be ruffled. In the true inner control the inner peace is not disturbed and goodwill towards others is retained. It is the psychic control that is required and when that is there the right attitude follows in one’s external behaviour. Conduct must flow from. within outwards and the more one opens to the psychic influence, the more it gains over the outer nature. Mental control may or may not lead to the psychic control. In people of a sattwic type it may be the first step towards it.
– Sri Aurobindo